thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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