So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
