i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
