You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
