don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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