I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
