my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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