my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
