Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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