And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There r osticjed everywhere
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
