so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize