is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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