Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize