i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
