I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
