All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
