he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
