I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
