READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
