I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
