This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
