We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize