I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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