dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
