She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
