I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
