I wanna passion pit in your ass
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
