Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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