Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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