why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
