so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
