I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
