**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
