too bad you live with your parents still
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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