ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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