Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He shit in the fireplace
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
