This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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