First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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