I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
