batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
wow bdsm is so cute
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