I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
