We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
