he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
