just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
