I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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