my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
