When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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