If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
