it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
