I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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