fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also, beer. Big fan.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
