Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Terrible idea I love it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
