Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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