I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
