Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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