she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
