Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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