Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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