Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
