My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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