Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
