Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
